At least I made it til Wednesday.
Strange crowd at Mobil today.
I’ll save this one for later.
I am so weak.
15 NovNobody’s Perfect
13 NovThree O’Clock Snack
It’s not even New Year’s and Tom and I have started to turn over a new leaf. As you know we joined the Y at the end of August and in two months I have lost 15 pounds (that’s the good news, the bad news is I have 40 to go) but fitness is only one aspect to a healthy lifestyle, nutrition is the other (OK, I know there is more to it than that, but for the sake of this post we are talking fitness and nutrition).
After seeing an episode of Oprah featuring Dr. Oz, Tom and I purchased You on a Diet. We are taking the month of November to read the book, get familiar with new (healthier) food choices, learning how to read nutrition labels, and getting a general understanding of how things work. By December we want to hit the ground running – and still one month before New Year’s Resolutions are due.
The book was a wake up call. Our dutiful trips to the Y and longer dog walks aren’t cutting it. We must change our diet. And so far so good. We have already replaced our pasta with whole wheat pasta, our rice with brown rice, we even replaced our peanut butter and syrup both of which contained high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) and we avoid partially hydrogenated everything. Without even going full speed ahead Tom has, in one week, lost an inch and a half from his waist.
So what does my daily diet look like now that I have seen the light?
Breakfast: Oatmeal and coffee. Sounds good but not perfect. I take milk and sugar in my coffee. Prior: pop tarts, donuts, muffins, croissants, french toasts twist or ham, egg and cheese sandwiches from Dunkin Donuts. I’m gonna say all in all I’m ahead on this one.
Mid morning snack: 6 walnuts. A trick from the book – they take away your hunger signal just before lunch and are a good source of omega-3 (especially since I don’t eat fish). Prior: cheese and diet coke.
Lunch: Turkey on whole wheat bread, raw veggies from the salad bar and a piece of fruit for dessert. Prior: Huge servings of the hot meal served in the cafeteria at work. Anywhere from mac and cheese, lasagna with bread and butter, philly steak sandwiches, cheeseburgers and fries, it went on and on, day after day.
And here we are, 3:00. What are my options? Fresh strawberries, yogurt with grape nuts, an apple, grapes, pear or orange. But no. When 3:00 rolls around I want saturated fats, sugar, HFCS, and partially hydrated ANYTHING. Which conveniently can all be found in the first five ingredients of Zingers and Hostess Cupcakes. Keep in mind, I don’t raid the vending machine for these, oh no, I actually leave my building, get into my car and drive to a Mobile Station. A Mobile Station people. That’s how desperate I get at 3:00. I even read the nutritional label before I eat them and say to myself WOW these are REALLY bad for me. But that thought goes away with the first bite as my eyes roll to the back of my head with delight. So pathetic. 3:00 sucks.
Dinner I am back on track, maybe the portions are still a little too big, but no more take-out. And by the end of the day I have had 64 ounces of water and a diet coke.
So here’s to turning over half a leaf and trying hard to get it all the way over. Unfortunately at this very moment…Zingers still rule.
09 NovInterview with Trans Fat
CNN LARRY KING LIVE
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. IT ALSO MAY BE ENTIRELY MADE UP.
LARRY KING: Good evening. We begin tonight with one of the world’s most hunted figures who’s not living in western Pakistan or eastern Afghanistan or wherever Osama bin Laden calls home. He’s banned from Disney World, an outlaw in Denmark, persona non grata in New York, and as of last week he’s even no longer welcome at your local KFC. Trans Fat has become an international pariah on par with that JonBenet creep. In the studio we welcome Trans Fat.
TRANS FAT: Thanks for having me, Larry. It seems like it’s been one grease fire after another.
LK: No doubt. So tell me: Why does everyone hate you?
TF: Larry, you got it all wrong: Everyone loves me! I’ve been around since 1903. I make your french fries snap, and your cookies crunch. I put the crisp in crispilicious.
LK: So why are cities, restaurants, amusement parks and even nations lining up to ban you?
TF: Some, well, almost all of the so-called experts — “scientists,” if you will — maintain that I clog arteries, raise bad cholesterol levels, lower good cholesterol, cause heart disease and contribute to diabetes.
LK: That’s some resume. Whaddya say we go to a call — Hollywood, Calif., you’re on with for Trans Fat, hello.
CALLER: Hi, Larry, Fen-Phen here. I actually know Trans Fat. …
TF: Yo, Fen, how’s it going, diet babe? Still have that killer bod?
CALLER: Sure do, no thanks to you. But I’ve been having those heart palpitations again, so I’ve been laid up. My question is: Shouldn’t people be allowed to weigh their own risks in terms of what they digest?
LK: Good question.
TF: Fen makes a great point. Look, Larry, if people didn’t want me, I wouldn’t sell so well. Now that I got booted from KFC — KFC, for Crisco’s sake! — let’s see how that turncoat Colonel Sanders does when his extra crispy chicken has the consistency of a boiled dumpling.
LK: Is anyone left on your side?
TF: I have The Center for Consumer Freedom.
LK: Sounds impressive. Are they scientists? Health experts?
TF: Actually, they’re a PR machine for restaurateurs and the food industry. But they’re taking on the food activists, trial lawyers and diet fascists determined to make us all trim and healthy. Larry, if these “food cops” get their way, billions of dollars will be drained from the health care and mortuary industries alone.
LK: So what about the fact you’re blamed for more than 30,000 premature deaths each year?
TF: Those are estimates, Larry. Estimates. Let’s stick to the facts.
LK: You don’t mind being a mass murderer?
TF: Larry, find me something that people like that doesn’t quote-unquote kill you. Cigarettes, alcohol, illicit drugs, steroids. Fried chicken. Well, it used to, anyway. The good news is I make you real fat. What symbolizes America more than good ol’ patriotic obesity? I make Santa Claus that jolly fellow with a stomach like Jell-O every Christmas Eve.
LK: Santa Claus is American?
TF: Basically.
LK: From an Indiana rest area, go ahead.
CALLER: Thanks, Larry. My name is Olestra, and my experience is similar to Trans Fat’s. All I have to say is … Oh, shoot: I have to go. Again. Sorry …
LK: Thanks for the call. From Raleigh. Nick, you’re on with Trans Fat.
CALLER: Trans Fat, cough, cough your problem isn’t that you kill people. Your cough problem is public relations. I’ll hang up and cough-cough-hack-cough …
TF: That’s what I’ve been saying. Vegetables are good for you, right? So how bad can vegetable shortening be? I’m in that too, you know. Crackers, cookies — I’m in a lot of things, even when I’m not listed in the ingredients. You can find me under partially hydrogenated oil in your snack aisle. Plus, you even find traces of me in meat and dairy. I can do the all-natural thing, too.
LK: Could it be your time has come and gone, like cocaine in soda or Liz Taylor’s career?
TF: You could argue that I’m not essential. You could make the observation I’m a health risk. Say I killed a few dozen-hundred-thousand people? I can live with that. But give me this: You’ll miss me when I’m gone.
LK: What’s next for Trans Fat?
TF: I’m thinking of going to Spain. They just outlawed skinny models there. I go where I’m needed, Larry.
LK: Well, good luck with that, and thanks for coming on. Up next: Catching up with Red Dye No. 2.
Written by: Mark McGuire, Times Union
07 NovUninformed Voter
In the Capital Region, like in many places, there were some candidates who took up valuable TV time with mud slinging, accusatory, and down right nasty advertising. These ads were a constant assault on my senses. In particular were John Sweeney vs Kirsten Gillibrand. The insults and dirty laundry were so overpowering that it practically discouraged me from voting tonight. Then I thought, well, there’s always the Green Party. Here’s the thing, when I got to the polling place I found out that Sweeney and Gillibrand are not even running in my congressional district. What? I had to fast forwarded through hundreds of back to back screaming matches and whine fests and they weren’t even on my ballot? Ugh.
Just one other thing I was slightly uniformed about…the four proposals on the ballot. Oops. Guess skipping right to the Leisure Section of the Times Union may have prepared me for fall fashions but not these four proposals.
05 NovDesignated Driver
Also known as my husband who Friday night took me from happy hour to a dance club and back home again for a friends birthday party. Here’s the catch. He didn’t stay to watch me make a fool of myself on the dance floor or embarrass myself in front of coworkers at happy hour. Just got me from point A to point B and home with a smile and a kiss and have a good time.
02 NovBeach Tours Here
26 OctTrailer what?
Tom and I will be at our (parents) trailer home this weekend in Florida. A last burst of sunshine before winter.
And so as not to mislead you, our trailer park comes with alligators not yachts.
18 OctI have to go
If I told you half of how bad the bathroom was that I used this weekend you would throw up. To me IBS stands for Icky Bathroom Stalls. That�s what you have to live with when you actually have IBS and HAVE TO GO…NOW. And by have to go I mean you can�t make it to the front door of the store much less your car much less home. Not cool. This bathroom was SO BAD that I almost took a photo of it for the blog but I didn�t want to offend anyone�s eyes. When I walked out Tom asked how bad it was. I said real bad. He said he�ll hold it. Good choice. Unfortunately it was not an option for me.
I have contemplated taking photos and keeping track of all the Icky Bathroom Stalls I have used. But that’s just gross.
Here’s another common IBS example from this weekend. Tom and I are at the mall heading towards the Gap. I freeze in my tracks. “Tom, where is the closest bathroom to our current location?” And he knows. I know. We know where all the bathrooms are in all the stores I have EVER been to in the Capital Region (and beyond).
They are not all pleasant. And they do not all have soap. I once used a men’s room just to wash my hands – not sure if it was worth it. I guess the only thing positive that comes from using Icky Bathroom Stalls (besides getting there in time) is I probably have a very high germ tolerance. You can’t have IBS and live in a bubble – you won’t make it home in time.